People say forgiveness is a process. I say it's a choice. A choice to obey, a choice to rebel. Jesus commands His followers to forgive as He has forgiven them. There is no room for middle ground, no room for error. It is easier to tell a man: forgive this fellow for stealing your wallet than it is to tell him: forgive this man for killing your spouse. Black is black and forgiveness is forgiveness. Let's not muddle or taint it with make-believe exceptions because there are none.
It is easier to write this than it is to act upon it. I am the first to admit it's difficulty. And yet I don't believe forgiveness takes time. I believe the act of forgiveness is deliberate and final and if it is anything else, it is anything but forgiveness. Can you imagine if forgiveness was that flighty? What if God believed forgiveness could be given and taken by a whim? But you say: well, that is not God. God wouldn't say or do such a thing.
Well, if that is the case, than this concept, this truth, of forgiveness cannot be changed either. It cannot be altered to suit our comfort level or convenience. God is not concerned with our comfort as much as He is concerned with our spiritual circumcision from this world. In other words, he's more concerned with our holiness. And for Him, forgiveness plays a huge role in our holiness. One could even argue it is the greatest role. But I am not a philosopher or a theologian so I cannot nor do say that with authority. It's just a theory that I believe holds some weight.
Forgiveness is a decision to lay aside the hurt caused you, the pain, the discomfort and that encompasses any hurt, pain or discomfort. Forgiveness is a gift extended to the thief and the murderer alike. It is easier to forgive the thief and forget the offense caused you but forgiving the murder is more difficult. I cannot say: "I'm working on forgiving him. It takes time."
No. It does not take time. But it may take many times of choosing over and over again to forgive that person. It is not to say that one moment you are extending forgiveness and the next moment you are taking it back. It is not to say: "well, if you have to moment by moment forgive that person then maybe you haven't really forgiven him."
I do not believe it is like that nor is that what I am trying to say. What I am trying to say and what I believe to be true is that forgiveness is an issue of the heart. And so long as you are constantly disciplining yourself to carry yourself in such a way as to demonstrate your forgiveness of that person, then that is what matters. God looks at the heart. He wants a contrite one, a humble one. For in our humbleness God exalts us and is able to far more within us and through us than if we had stubbornly held onto the hurt, the anger, the bitterness, or what have you.
But if we say: "Well, perhaps in time I can forgive that person," then it is time we get over this silly notion that our hurt excuses us from obedience. If you are not forgiving someone, it is not because you are unable to forgive that person, it is because you are unwilling to. Call it like it is. Do not confuse it or attempt to incorporate worldly thinking into this other-worldly Christian way of life. Recognize your sin. Own it and go from there. I believe you are in a much better place spiritually if you acknowledge your sin and recognize it as sin and purposefully live in that sin than it is to believe that God's commands are soft, or wish-washy, or that you have any say in the matter and have the authority and audacity to decide whom you will forgive and if or when you will forgive them.
Obedience is not optional.
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