Dear "Ja'maine"

Dear "Ja'Maine" (that's your nickname for now...even though I'm not sure if you are male or female...either way, it has a funny story behind it and someday when you're older, and if my memory permits, I will tell you the back story): It's starting to hit me that in 6 months time, I will have a baby in my arms. I'm still unsure...not about wanting you...Lord knows how much your dad and I love you already...but the uncertainty of first-time parents is somewhat unsettling. Will you like me? Will I know how to take care of you? Will I ever sleep? Or read? Will I raise you correctly? My goodness, there are so many things to think about when you're having a baby. At the end of the day, I just want you to be healthy...and I want to raise you to be useful, kind, and loving. We need more of those people in this world. If you're a boy, your dad and I are pretty set on a name: Oliver Jacob. I also like Liam Jacob or Levi Jacob but we're pretty set on Oliver. If you're a girl...well, we have a middle name picked out at least. I like the name Felicity Paige...it means, "happy servant." Your dad isn't completely settled on it though. However, we both like Ashlyn Paige. We'll see...maybe we'll pick different names all together. I hope you like to read as much as I do. Your dad doesn't enjoy reading; he prefers music...which is totally fine by me. If you'd rather play an instrument than read, I'm ok with that. It's good to stretch your mind and employ yourself in something that you not only enjoy, but strengthens who you are. The arts are important to us. I don't want you to be raised by tv or other forms of technology. Men have lived centuries before with only the skill of their hands and the creativity of their imagination. I want that for you. I promise you, you'll be all the better for it. I hope to spend our holidays with family, our summers camping, our springs making mud pies and watching the trees slowly bloom, our autumns sipping warm cider and collecting fall-colored leaves for arts and crafts. I want so much to live in the country and have you experience the things I did as a child: a large garden, acres to roam and explore, deer in the front yard, turkeys in the back...I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to provide that for you...but I wish it with all my heart.

It's the end of the world as we know it...

My baby is due December 12, 2012...according to the Mayan calendar, it will only have days to live on this earth. If the world does end, I'm ok with that. However, if God the Father withheld from Jesus the Son the day and hour of the world's end, I'm fairly certain He probably withheld it from the Mayans. Did my pregnancy shock you as much it shocked me? Pssh. Not possible. Oh, Lord...grant me grace. You know how much I'll need it for the next...well...lifetime.